Facing One’s Demons

In My Brother At 3 a.m. by Natalie Diaz, the speaker writes of an interaction between her brother and her mother. Her brother is wracked with pain, as he claims the devil wants to kill him. The mother did not see the devil. But she “winced at the sores on his lips” (Diaz 23). This implies he had been gnawing at his lips, likely in anxiousness. This moment depicts him as vulnerable and exposed and in a raw light. Going back to the interview with Diaz, she discusses how poetry does not always have to sound poetic, because it is an emotional language and “one of the truer ways that we can talk”. She then explains how sometimes, she just wants to say she doesn’t feel good, plain and simple, rather than use a metaphor to say it for her. Almost like a wall to hide behind. The description of the brother “weeping on the steps” and the “sores on his lips” are a return to the body, for Diaz/the speaker and others, as it depicts living with oneself even if one is troubled, or in pain. The brother’s mental anguish is exposed for anyone to see. Even his mom. But he is not trying to hide it. It might be uncomfortable for some to read, but Diaz emphasizes the need to write uncomfortably as it “has the possibility to end in joy in some way”. In this poem, to write of anxieties, inner demons, and troubles, is to be as open and honest as one can be. It encourages others to return to their own bodies, face what is harming them and to ask for help. This poem is ultimately of the brother asking for help, even if he does not directly say it. His mother can see he is troubled, as she describes him as a “hellish vision”, but the reader is hopeful by the end that she will provide her son with the love and support needed to get better (Diaz 27).

Bella Cortez

The Devil was my Brother

Natalie Diaz talks about poems being a form of embodied practice, which is a form of therapy that helps identify sensations to expand the healing processes. She says that it’s always the want and trying to come back to your body. Even when it’s uncomfortable due to the situation that you are around in, she tries to treat everybody on the page like the body of the beloved. Further exploring these statements, after reading “My Brother at 3 A.M.” I realized that through her use of imagery and metaphors, she signals a return to the body. But what is a return to the body? Natalie explained that often we wander around in our body, therefore through signals that can be love, terror, and other signals that give our body some type of fight or fight response. Those “signals” are uncomfortable events that have been marginalized and unaccepted for some social identities. Therefore, her poems further explain these signals and topics spiritually.

    The poem “My Brother at 3 A.M.” highlights how damaged someone acts when addicted to drugs. The poem starts with her mom opening the door to her brother crying on the steps that the devil is going to kill him. Although to the mother this appears to be something that she cannot see in the beginning. Through the element of imagery, she further sends signals that will then show us the audience how by the end the mother will also see the devil. “ The sky wasn’t black or blue but the green of a dying night” ( Diaz line 17). This signals that through a green night, that symbolizes hallucinations we understand that the brother is on drugs. Therefore, the mother was now able to understand why her son was seeing the devil, and why she winced at the state that he was in. “Stars had closed their eyes or sheathed their knives” ( Diaz line 21). Through this metaphor, that the stars had their eyes closed can be interpreted that the stars didn’t want to see the state the brother was in. Maybe because of Natalie’s Aztec roots and spirituality, she wrote as if the stars symbolized happiness and renewal, they could not see that in her brother.

Natalie talks about the return to the body, yet at the end of this poem, the mother can see how the brother has not yet returned to his. This topic of drug abuse has been silenced in many cultures, one being Aztec because of drugs that contain hallucinogens. When drugs of that degree that are man-made are forbidden to us. Therefore, drug abuse has never been a topic of discussion in family teachings. “Mom finally saw it, a hellish vision, my brother” (Diaz line 27). It wasn’t until someone in the family has an addiction problem that they want to address the situation, but sometimes it can be too late. This can be seen as her brother fights himself and we see his internal struggle. This poem showcases the importance of your body being at an equilibrium point, to be able to confront uncomfortable situations. Therefore, Natalie brings these silenced situations out to the public so that they can be addressed and no longer shamed.

~ Jeshua Rocha

Within the body

Natalie Diaz stated in her Sampsonia Way 2018 interview that: “I am trying always to return back to the body because as an indigenous person, as a Latina, as a queer woman, I haven’t been given the permission or the space, to be fully in my body” Diaz places an importance on the inner body and the ability to return to it after not being given the opportunity prior, and that importance is showcased throughout “My brother at 3 A.M” . The poem revolves around the speaker’s brother, who returns home to talk to their mother, afraid of a demon-like figure that follows him and threatens his life. “He wants to kill me, he told her, looking over his shoulder.” (lines 7-8) This threatening figure whom the mother cannot see at first, leading the audience to understand that this figure is a mere hallucination. Ultimately being revealed that the figure is simply himself within the final stanza. 

It’s this poem that beautifully showcases Diaz’s view on the return to the body, and its necessity, even during more difficult times. “How can I constantly return to the body, even when it’s uncomfortable” The brother’s devil-like figure is simply his internal struggle, as he fights within himself, as his soul attempts to destroy his body.  Showcasing the importance of returning to the body, to confront these attempts and struggles, no matter how uncomfortable one might feel doing so. Diaz’s work also helps bring into light these internal issues that are rarely spoken about, oftentimes those struggling choosing to remain silent, with these communities not used to speaking out and discussing these issues and doubts they face. In this way My brother at 3 A.M serves as a perfect way for others to be fully within their own body.

– Eduardo Ojeda Jr

Devil’s Hallucinations

I believe the best poem that raised the elements of a return to the body for the poet-speaker was “My Brother at 3 A.M.” Firstly, this poem captured what it meant for wanting to return to being in your own body, in other words wanting to be yourself, but it becomes an issue because of the many obstacles that occur in life. Natalie Diaz’s poem portrayed hallucinations as demonic. Throughout the poem Diaz’s brother was telling their mother that he sees this devil who wants to kill him, unfortunately the mother couldn’t see what his son was referring to in the beginning. The hallucinations were referring to the body in which at that moment the brother was in an unknown place, and not in his right set of mind. According to the poem on lines 25-7 it states, “O God, see the tail, he said. Look at the goddamned tail. He sat cross-legged, weeping on the front steps. Mom finally saw it, a hellish vision, my brother.” The mother was finally able to see the devil. Only it was a horrific sight because she was able to truly see for what her son was, an addict. The devil who wants to kill him is actually himself, he wants to kill himself for the many addictions he had encountered. In other words, the hallucinations of the devil was a battle within himself and his body, committing sins.

 Furthermore, the brother’s image that is identified in this poem is an addict. I believe that in today’s world addictions aren’t taken seriously which leads to many decisions of having addictions as the solution. Although this issue is seen as a less talkative topic, Natalie Diaz stated in an interview, “It’s interesting to think about silence as being a type of speaking, and maybe even a more important type of speaking.” I thought this to be impactful because even if a topic were to be silenced or not brought up, silence is what speaks the most out of someone, just as the saying actions speak louder than words. Both silence and actions are really great references to making something meaningful or inadequate in someone’s life, which leads me to my next point. The body is used as an example for this poem as silenced. The brother’s body was a use of desire and sinful acts in which he no longer is fully in his body. Part of this is from the anxiety given from the many addictions. Just as in the poem the brother sounds terrified and anxious looking at the devil or himself. In the interview Diaz states, “But I am wondering if anxiety in some ways is just my body in the wrong place.” As I mentioned earlier, the brother was not in his right mind which caused him the hallucinations from his addiction(s). So him being in the wrong place through the stress, just as Diaz going through anxiety in her life, gives her the realization of the body not being in her true form. She is unable to express that being a Latina and queer woman is under the anxiety of the world of not fully being one with herself.

Celeste Tejeda-Menera

Crossing Bodily Borders in Poetry

For this Thursday (3/7), students will interpret ONE of Natalie Diaz’s poems, “Abecedarian Requiring Further Examination of Anglikan Seraphym Subjugation of a Wild Indian Rezervation,” or “My Brother at 3 A.M., according to her understanding of poetry as an embodied practice.  In a 2018 interview (see below), Diaz writes that her poetry aims “to return back to the body because as an indigenous person, as a Latina, as a queer woman, I haven’t been given the permission or the space, to be fully in my body.”

Given the issues raised in her interview, how do specific elements in her poems signal a return to the body for the poet-speaker and others like her?  Explain how these poems accommodate social identities that have been marginalized or silenced. Please categorize under “Border Crossings” and don’t forget to create specific and relevant tags. And please include your full name!  The blog post is due by this Thursday (3/7) 11:00am.

For the full Diaz interview, click this link http://archive.sampsoniaway.org/blog/2018/02/22/back-to-the-body-an-interview-with-natalie-diaz/

The Body is Unique

In the poem, “We are All Whitman Song of/to/My/Your/Self” by Luis Alberto Ambroggio, didn’t sound like it had a rhythm in the poem, just like Walt Whitman’s poem, “I Sing the Body Electric.” Both these poems didn’t have a rhythm within the poems but both are described differently among people and the body. For instance in the poem by Ambroggio, he is describing all these races “With all the colors that stir up their race, Roman, Celtic, Hebrew, Moor, Hispanic, Aborigine, with kingdoms of multitudes fresh in the tree of life” in which all races are what brings the beauty of the many aspects of culture. On the other hand, Walt Whitman’s poem “I Sing the Body Electric” is referring to a large list of the body parts of female and male, to describe their difference in beauty. An example would be “Leg-fibers, knee, knee-pan, upper-leg, under-leg. Ankles, instep, foot-ball, toes, toe-joints, the heel; All attitudes, all the shapeliness, all the belongings of my or your body or of any one’s body, male or female” (Whitman 17). With this being said, I believe it interprets the male and female body as being almost one, as if their differences have contributed to their own unique beauty.

In the second video, Luis Alberto Ambroggio was asked how he felt based on Walt Whitman, the emotions he was going through in that poem. He interprets his poetic translation towards a rhythmic enumeration of body parts based on the poem, “I Sing the Body Electric” by Walt Whitman. Ambroggio’s translation of Whitman’s poem was really a softer, than a rapid stance than we might have interpreted. Ambroggio’s interpretation of the poem gave him the sense of transformation in really understanding and having a connection with the poem. In Walt Whitman’s poem, there was no need to skim through it because it didn’t follow with a meter. Although his poem didn’t occur to have a meter, the poem did have a rhythm that seemed to be and sound as a pounding of a heartbeat. As I go through the poem, it is almost impossible to stop nor pause because of the amount of run on sentences. To say the poem out loud without hardly a pause has our hearts in a rapid pace, just as our body is trying to find its rhythm, its normal pace, once more. That being said, both poems are in a sense describing the diversity between races, cultures, and gender as beautiful from the many perspectives of difference.

Celeste Tejeda-Menera

Body=Soul=Beauty

 In Walt Whitman’s “I Sing the Body Electric”, he uses fast-paced or almost too little to no periods to convey his message. Just like in Luis Alberto Ambroggio’s poem “We Are All Whitman” where he uses little to no periods until the next stanza to show his message. Like Whitman’s poem, Whitman is trying to tell the world that the body is the soul, and the soul is the body. For what we wish to perceive to love from the outside of man we should also choose to love the inside since they coincide.
 In Ambroggio’s poem, he follows in Whitman’s footsteps to tell this story but also adds some of his personal form to it. He adds in how Latin countries were colonized and yet, they stay strong and comfortable in their bodies. Even though they had to experience great scrutiny their souls and bodies belonged to themselves, and the colonizers couldn’t take that away. In stanza 5 he says “This Self is Puerto Rican, Chicano, from Cuba free dancer merengues, from Santo Domingo and all the Caribbean, from El Salvador and Nicaragua” he lists Latin American countries in the same way that Walt Whitman listed body parts and went down a list to how they connect with each other. These two poems show the same rhythm when they start listing countries and parts of the body, it gives a strong and powerful vibe that one can’t stop till their body gets tired or has to inhale again to read more. That is what makes these two poems flow so nicely and give the feeling of how our souls are beautiful and how everyone is intertwined with each other in some way or another even though we all are different we are all so similar.
 Ambroggio translates his poem into Whitman by not only expressing how he loves Whitman’s interpretation but by taking from Whitman’s poem and poetically making his own baby poem with it. For example, they both use alliteration throughout both poems to evoke a notion of feeling to the reader to read with more emphasis and to see if they can follow through the words being the same sounds. Another thing is from the video of Luis speaking in an authoritative voice I took that into the translation and read it thoroughly that way to see that both poems could be compelling to get their readers to have the same views about their bodies and souls to be beautiful rhythmically.

Kelly Flores

Using Poetry to Grasp Your Body

The poet Natalie Diaz has described her struggles being in fully in her body. The idenitites, systematic oppresions, and harships of everyone can have effects on your connection with your body as Diaz shares. Diaz attempts to grasp and feel her body through poetry yes, but more specifically language. In the poem My Brother at 3 A.M, Diaz’s desperate attempt to stay concious is a prime example of how important feeling the body is for this poet.

One of the biggest things I noticed first was the repetition. The first, second, and third stanzas are painting the same picture of the mother opening the door, the father asleep (a quiet house), and the dark night at 3 A.M. Diaz also repeats “he looked over his shoulder” twice (lines 8 and 11) and “He wants to kills me” (lines 4 and 7). This repition goes on throughout the poem, with the scene being painted for us over and over again. The sensation of desperateness, a desperateness to stay aware, to capture every detail, is intensified by this repetiton and can be tied back to the need to feel ones body.

The desperate tone provided by the repeition is aided by the strong imagery in the poem. Line 14, “The sky wasn’t black or blue but the green of a dying night” or Line 20, “His lips flickered with sores”. This imagery does not call for a pretty scene. There is a man who is lost, his body worn out, and a night equally defeated all the while a mother is making sense of her sons ecounter with this devil. In an interview Diaz states “something that has a possibility to be extremely uncomfortable, but also has the possibility to end in joy in some way.” These aspects of the poem are surely uncomfortable, but what is the joy that one could gain?

Perhaps the joy felt as she sees her brother regain sanity, as the sores on his lips go away, as he sits down with them for dinner once again and they know he is safe. But Diaz embraces the importance of these uncomfortable and sad moments in her life, how they shape her identity, how she fought the stay concious through it all and finds painting this dark night as valuable as painting a a bright sky. While many marginalized communites often carry the shame and pain of addiction and poverty, Diaz uses language to take back the strength these moments may have taken from her. In this poem, Diaz lets go of pain and shame and exchanges it for remberance, acceptance, and moving forward.

Darah Carrillo Vargas

A Return to the Body

Natalie Diaz’s poem “My Brother at 3 A.M. is, I believe, meant to be read metaphorically. The way I read it is that the speaker’s brother represents an oppressed minority while his mother represents the majority. The back and forth is the majority not seeing the plight of the minority despite it being pointed out, something that is not uncommon in real life. The sores on the lips represent the injuries the minority has suffered over the years. The ending represents the majority finally waking up to reality and recognizing the horror.

This signals a return to the body in depicting authentic human vulnerability. The speaker describes their brother’s distress in unflatteringly blunt terms and doesn’t sugarcoat anything. For example, “He sat cross-legged, weeping on the steps” creates the image from the beginning of someone who is weak and helpless. Additionally, the poem ends with the brother’s concern accepted and legitimized by his mother, allowing him “to be fully in [his] body”; the mom goes from asking her son what drugs he is on to repeating “O God” with him. Finally, the aforementioned metaphorical meaning accommodates marginalized or silenced peoples by demonstrating that that fact can be challenged and changed; this is a poem about one person or group growing to understand and empathize with another.

“A Distant Echo”

Both poems by Natalie Diaz provide accommodations for those whose identities have been ostracized. In her poem, “Abecedarian Requiring Further Examination of Anglikan Seraphym Subjugation of a Wild Indian Rezervation” Diaz discusses the history of the Native Americans and how they were confined throughout history. “My Brother at 3 A.M.” tells a story of a brother who suffers from addiction, and addicts are severely frowned upon. Diaz’s “Abecedarian Requiring Further Examination of Anglikan Seraphym Subjugation of a Wild Indian Rezervation” presents a dwelling place for marginalized individuals while simultaneously connecting the speaker to their body through allusions of historical and biblical context. 

Diaz understands herself that the Native Americans possess a grueling history as she emphasizes the prejudice against the Natives in her poem, which are significant elements. In the beginning lines the speaker says, “Angels don’t come to the reservation.\ Bats, maybe, or owls, boxy mottled things.\ Coyotes, too. They all mean the same thing—\ death” (1-4). Immediately Diaz mentions the presence of angels, which allows the reader to infer that this is potentially a reference to the bible. The word “mottled” is defined as blotchy or spotted with different colors, and the reader can feel its negative connotation. Angels are pure and white, and righteous beings such as themselves are everything but mottled. Looking further into the poem, it is discovered that Diaz writes in a form that is seen in the Hebrew Bible—constrained writing. Whether this was intentional, Diaz alludes to the restrictions of constrained writing and parallels them to the confinement of Native Americans. In line 7, Diaz writes, “Gabriel? Never heard of him. Know a guy named Gabe though—” (7). This made me laugh for a bit, it sounds so sarcastic when I read it aloud and in my head. Alas, another allusion to the bible that is written with such eloquence. While Diaz is unable to change historical anguish, she and other poets continue to write about them, which helps others reconnect as well as reclaim what their ancestors have lost. This extends to all minorities.

Emily Pu