Just Me and My Thoughts Agaisnt The World

Sometimes my thoughts are so loud

Consuming who I am when Im In a crowd 

And everywhere else as Im alone 

I dont know who I am, Who ive become 

Anxious, avoidant, and suppressing down to my core,

Thought by thought, Not many even understand. 

Why do I get consumed by it?

Those of you, whose thoughts are too loud and anxiety too controlling, 

Who cant escape it, take it from me

My mind was once as quiet as yours.

But after all, naturally, they are me. 

Who am I after all but a woman with thoughts.

Review

I decided to do Julia Alvarez. Sometimes, the Words are so Close because They spoke to me. As I read her drafts, I saw that she was trying to find her voice and struggling with confidence. I found that it is relatable to many students today. Julia Alvarez’s poem also sheds light on imposter syndrome; struggling to find her place in the world of writing. In the world today, I know that there are great ordeals in many students’ lives, especially the lives of college students. Many students at times feel, feeling the weight of expectations upon us, whether its in classes or in regular life. We start to ask If we belong here. The sonnet that I wrote highlights the difficulties of it all. Sometimes as young adults, its hard to find your place in this world. Maybe its as simple as being a particular major and feeling like you are not cut out for it due to not achieving the same academic standpoint as some or just having difficulties in areas. Alvarez struggles with finding her voice. We struggle with feeling inadequate. Our pens tremble over empty pages. We feel lost when we don’t understand some areas in our classes. As much as we study. when sometimes it wasn’t enough. It leaves many feeling, “Why did I even choose this major”?, “Do I have what it takes? “?. Our thoughts are stained with anxiety, like ink. The classroom is a battlefield, a place where we compete to be accepted, and to prove ourselves. It’s almost as if there’s nowhere to hide, nowhere to hide from the thoughts filled with the idea that we arent good enough. College students today try to suppress these feelings, myself included. Avoiding the feeling of being an Imposter in Life, Academics, and other factors. My poem, being an experimental sonnet imitation, helps mirror a joint experience of these feelings, the feeling of never measuring up. Many college students find themselves My words, not being an actual sonnet, imperfect,  breaking the rules of specific guidelines, because sometimes there are no perfect rhymes for our struggles. Sometimes, we must break free from the standard way of doing things to be finally free. Yet perhaps, in our shared vulnerability, We find a place of comfort, A truth unspoken but felt: We belong, even when we doubt. Even when we don’t seem to feel it. We are our thoughts, and they are us.

Victoria Sasere

Sometimes strokes almost touch

Sometimes strokes almost touch,

On the edge of my canvas, they sway,

Like shy colors, they ask for much,

But vanish when I try to obtain.

I chase them through my mixed paint,

In my palette, they play hide and seek,

Each stroke tells a story, without restraint,

Yet the perfect one remains meek.

I blend and dab, I layer and trace,

But art has its mysterious scheme,

Like fleeting visions in a sacred space,

They slip away, leaving me to dream.

I felt inspired to imitate Julia Alvarez’s “Sometimes the Words Are So Close” for my creative project. For my piece, “Sometimes the Strokes Are So Close”, I wanted to incorporate a series of her writing into mine. For instance, in the poem, Alvarez has a poem written in a first-person view, giving the readers insight into her thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Having a first-person view creates a sense of intimacy and can help the readers understand the struggles. I also enjoyed reading Alvarez’s work as I liked the creative aspect and understanding her thought process through her drafts. 

I decided to take some of the aspects that I talked about above into my poem, except my poem explores the frustration that occurs in the creative process. As well as talking about the need to have the painting be so perfect and the idea that the “speaker” struggles with bringing their artistic vision to life. I decided to start the poem off by rewording Alvarez’s first line, “Sometimes the words are so close,” to “Sometimes strokes almost touch”. I noticed that the structure of Alvarez’s poem was free verse so I decided to stick with the same style, so the poem has less of a rhyming scheme and the lines vary with the length. Something else that I noticed within Alvarez’s writing was the self-discovery that she was learning and how she was trying to express herself. This is something that I felt was a key element within her writing and was something very personal yet private at the same time. To incorporate this into my writing I thought of what I felt passionate about and what is something that I’ve personally struggled with and that other people may or may not understand. Another significant piece of Alvarez’s writing that I noticed (and talked a bit about before) and incorporated into my poem was the use of personal pronouns as it creates a more personal relationship and bond.

“I chase them through my mixed paint, In my palette, they play hide and seek,” (Line 5-6), I incorporated the feeling of the palette playing hide and seek to create a more relevant or familiar experience to “chasing” ideas or inspiration. A lot of people are artists whether they acknowledge or realize it, for instance, writing this project! I personally always struggle to begin any sort of project whether that be for academics or just for fun, I felt that the overall topic would create something relatable for the audience. Additionally, I decided to adjust the wordplay as I felt that it was much needed especially when describing painting as there are different senses and imagery that occur. For instance, “shy colors” and “fleeting visions”. Painting is a universal activity that typically occurred when people were younger and the description of painting brings the memories of how simple and complicated it is. It ideally makes the audience feel some sort of deja vu as they remember their childhood. 

Yue Wu-Jamison

love lost, Hope found

By: Tierney Bowden

---

ice beneath sharp blades,

yet never did it waver.

eyes meet suddenly.

---

first meeting, cold rain,

heated cheeks, burning passion-

lips do what hands do

---

chilling droplets

met their demise against

passionate activities

---

over time, the distance

grew.

weeks passed.

skies turned from grey

to a deep blue.

---

traded rain for perfect sun

yet hearts were never full enough-

lovelorn.

---

while meadows filled with rabid bloom,

angst became her.

nothing but hatred.

---

suddenly,

a dandelion grew!

budding blossoms

bid woes, adieu!

---

Review:

My poems are an anthology of haikus that reflect a past relationship of mine. I was highly inspired by the haikus from “There is Always Tomorrow: An Anthology of Wartime Haiku” that we read in class. Haikus typically have 17 syllables, mention some reference to a season, and are very concise in their wording. This forces poets who choose this style to be very picky with what they choose to write. Despite this, haikus still evoke powerful emotions.

The wartime haikus were written by Japanese American internment camp victims of the Central Valley. Being from the Central Valley, these haikus struck something inside of me. These poets created their own hope through the power of haiku. They reflected, ranted, and yearned all in a few short phrases. Although I cannot relate to their struggles, I can relate to the feeling of being a human trying to cope. This is where I got inspired.

I wanted my anthology to reflect the feeling of hopelessness that comes with a failed relationship. My haikus are meant to be read from top to bottom since it is a story with a beginning, middle, and end. I chose to keep with the 17-syllable and seasonal word rules because these are not meant to simply be poems, but haikus. Just like how the wartime haikus included a word to reflect the blazing Central Valley summers, mine travel between the seasons of winter and spring.

Along with the wartime haiku inspiration, I also was inspired by Julia Alvarez’s “Sometimes the Words Are So Close”. In her poem, she took lines from other poems to Frankenstein them into a new one. I did something similar in my second haiku. The line “lips do what hands do” comes directly from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. This is one of my favorite scenes from the play because it is the perfect embodiment of young love. My anthology is about the first relationship I ever experienced and it was a rushed affair. The inclusion of this line was meant to reflect my naivety and youth when I began the relationship. It also is a foreshadowing of the tragic ending of the story. Just like Romeo and Juliet, I did not end up with this person.

I believe the haiku format and Alvarez’s poem-mashing created the perfect outlet for me to reflect on the relationship and the feelings I felt throughout the experience. In a way, this was a very therapeutic assignment and these poems mean a lot to me. I hope others can find themselves in this anthology, even if it is only one other person.

Small Changes Can Make Great Impact

The meaning of Alvarez’s “Sometimes the Words are So Close” of what it means to be a writer is altered by demonstrating the multiple changes and transitions she did in earlier drafts of the poem. Her earlier drafts demonstrate those moments writers have when they are in the process of writing something. Alvarez proves that sometimes writing can be simply done quickly, but other times to share a meaning with more creativity a little more or a lot more critical thinking may be necessary. This is what I noticed as a reader; she was attempting to find the best way to express herself to her readers. How do I know? Reading through her earlier drafts, I noticed that her poem was much shorter and the untraditional sonnet structure was kept, but more words were added for the final version. For her final, Alvarez made sure to create a 14-line sonnet. Her earlier draft was 11 lines and was untitled. In her earlier drafts, she begins the poem like the first stating, “Sometimes the words are so close, I am more who I am when I’m down on paper than anything else, as if my life were a practice for the real me-” (Alvarez, Lines 1-4). There is a small detail that was changed. The final adds, “As if my life were practicing for the real me-” Small punctuation changes were made, but what’s interesting was the final was written in progressive verb tense, meaning that she changed it to make that message more direct towards the reader that “this is something I am still going through.” This demonstrates how such a small change can make a big impact when you’re expressing yourself in writing.

The earlier drafts and final show that this poem is about writing and what it means to be a writer, however, she assures that her final draft makes it obvious that she is a female writer and she adds, “you”. Her earlier drafts didn’t focus on that. This is precisely why her earlier drafts were shorter. The final states, “I was once in as many drafts as you. But briefly, essentially, here I am: Who touches this poem touches a woman.” (Alvarez, Lines 12-14). In her previous drafts, she wrote, “My flood comes through in so many drafts, But briefly, essentially, here I am. who touches these words touches myself.” What is the difference between both, how does this enhance the whole meaning of her poem? Well, in general, this poem has to do with Alvarez and who she is. Her final draft makes sure that the readers get that message. She makes that more direct by adding “you” within her poem. This is what her early drafts lack; directness. They do prove how expressing oneself can be complicated sometimes and can be easier to express on paper over speaking, but her final not only demonstrates who she is as a writer but brings confidence to others who are possibly struggling to express themselves as well.

This is how her earlier drafts alter the overall meaning of her poem. Her earlier drafts are a literal example of, “I was once in as many drafts as you.” (Alvarez, Line 11). Even without the drafts, her message could be received, but by having access to those drafts, we get to actually see what she means.

Enhanced and Altered

“Sometimes the Words Are So Close” by Julia Alvarez improved really well from her drafts. Alvarez was inspired to write this sonnet because of the “33” Sonnet Sequence. The “33” Sonnet Sequence focused on a man and his love towards another man, while Alvarez used this to focus her sonnet on a woman’s love towards reading. In her interview, she mentioned how she felt connected to one of Whitman’s line in his book and she borrowed then altered it to her own to conclude her sonnet. She did mention how she wants the speaker to be a women which means that this poem is representing a woman. So when you are reading the poem, you are basically connecting to a woman’s perspective.

I’m going to be honest, I couldn’t really understand what she was writing in cursive, but from what I can see, she did revise and alter it a lot on certain parts, taking out chunks and lines then adding more lines. We can see that she went from “words” to “poem” then back to “words” in the first line. I would say she did this because she wants to focus in depth and not the whole situation. Not every poem can relate to someone, but we can relate to words. In her draft, we can see there are many places where Alvarez made it seem that the speaker was directing it to herself (“I”, “my”, “me”). There were a lot of parts directed to the speaker herself, but Alvarez changed it and focused more on the context. There are a lot of “you” in the poem. Alvarez wrote her final draft with the speaker talking directly to the reader, then ending it with saying to the reader that when you read and analyze this poem, you the reader are connecting to a woman. Julia Alvarez altered and enhanced her poem based off her drafts. She focused more on connecting the speaker herself to the reader giving more meaning to the context of her poem.

Gurranvir Kaur

Insight within the foundation

Julia Alvarez’s poem “Sometimes the words are so close”, tells us of a speaker who finds it easier to communicate through stanzas than through spoken words. Depicting that life is ultimately just a necessary step before being able to write down poetry. Alvarez writes that true freedom is achievable and that one can find it even if it is for a mere moment, once one’s pen touches paper. Allowing for one to fully present themselves as one “Who touches this poem touches a woman.” (14). This idea of showcasing yourself fully through poetry is extended by looking through Alvarez’s earlier drafts of the poem. Looking at the drafts one recognizes the humanity within the writing process, seeing lines that were changed or completely removed. As the poem goes through further revision it feels almost like seeing human growth, as the foundation of the first drafts is expanded upon and becomes more detailed, more intricate. Ironically however one can also argue that looking at the drafting process takes away from Alvarez’s intention, when a poem dedicates itself to showing itself through stanzas looking at edits almost makes the final work feel dishonest. As if one created a carefully constructed persona to showcase to the world, rather than their true self. Finally looking at Alvarez’s 2006 reflection and explanation of her work gives us insight on those changes and drafts. Looking at the inspiration found within other poets and literary works we see the foundation and reasoning for the poem’s existence, and the drafts and revisions become the blueprint that allowed her to deliver such an intricate and caring message within 14 stanzas. The idea of a speaker presenting themselves through poetry is enhanced, into the belief that true and intimate connections can and are made with poetry, and naturally, this connection is destined to make us respond through poetry of our own. 

– Eduardo Ojeda Jr

Expressing All Parts Of Me

Julia Alverez’s “Sometimes the Words are so Close” is enhanced by earlier poem drafts. Why? Her whole point was getting at what it means to be a writer. It’s not as simple as writing something down once and automatically having a complete poem. It enhances by showing her creative side and ability to express the many thoughts inside her head. She was filled with ideas, writing drafts down and editing as she went along. Lines 5- 6, “unbuttoned from the anecdotal and /unnecessary and undressed down,” In terms of wanting the readers to see her as a woman writer, I think these lines highlight it in a great ordeal, covering the sexualization of women and show her raw self, filled with emotions as some would say woman are “too emotional.” She shows readers her authentic and genuine side by tapping into her feelings in writing. She was vulnerable to express that her language barrier, due to English not being her first language at times, it could be difficult, but her dream was to be a writer. Showing her drafts leads me to the idea that she wanted it to be just right. Although, overall, comparing the draft to the finalized thing, I didn’t find much change in the drafts; maybe it could’ve been. However, she got rid of certain parts and had different punctuation.

I noticed the word “woman—” in her final draft, but it was changed to “woman.” This shows confidence and an ending; without the pause, it almost creates certainty. I had to reread and put some drafts side by side with the final poem, and as I was reading it, it was nearly like she dialed back on the tone. I wouldn’t say it’s completely altered, but her tone has lost some passion. An example is “Those of you, lost and yearning to be free, / who hear these words.” This was one of her drafts; Butcher initially lost the comma after “those of you.” Although it depicts the same idea, it seems to have less emotion. But this alos brings to light it enhances her mind beyond just thinking but getting a particular point across… SHE IS  A WRITER, and it’s not something smooth sailing but an awakening process with constant shifts in ideas while trying to appeal to emotion while expressing the fact that it could be challenging at times with a language barrier, but she perceived it.

-Victoria Sasere

Alvarez’s Rough Draft

Julia Alvarez’s poem “Sometimes the Words are So Close”, lacks any punctuation for the first 6 lines. This creates a wordy, breathlessness for the reader. This creates a hurried tone, like if we don’t read fast the words may disappear off the page. In comparison to her original draft, Alvarez had quite a few commas in the first few lines. The creative choice to include zero punctuation until line 6, added to the title of the poem. The words feel close and almost jumble together when read aloud. This is a Petrachan sonnet, so there is a volta in line 9 which also is where the one question mark is used. Even from the original draft, Alvarez wanted to emphasize line 9 with a question mark. The question mark caused me to immediately stop reading and ponder with the speaker. The tone moved from something so hurried to something thoughtful. Alvarez mentioned how she wanted this poem to feel like a woman speaking and it really embodies what it feels like to ramble on. If Alvarez had included punctuation in the first 6 lines, there would not have been this natural thought pattern. We do not think in commas or periods. We think and move on to the next thought in a continuous pattern. Alvarez’s poem embodies how somebody may fall into a rabbit hole of their thoughts.

By: Tierney Bowden

Judy Alvarez, draft against the final

Reading through Judy Alvraezs draft and final sonnet was quite interesting per se, while many parts stayed the same, specific lines and singular words from each section were removed, rather than replaced, which was already something to start with. It makes me wonder, why did she bother removing instead of just changing the wording? For one, the last line is the first thing I took notice of – in her drafts it reads. “who touches these words touches myself” (Alvarez, 11). However, the finalized version states “Who touches this poem touches a woman.” Briefly touched upon, but the context seems to have varied quite a bit. However, from a simple glance, it seems she’s deviating from utilizing herself, meaning the poem ends up deviating from the usual ‘first person’ correlation, making her seem less included in the poem, and having it seem more overall. Of course, to understand its change and how it alters the poem as a whole.

Reading through the poem as a whole, I found almost no change from the lines. However, there’s an extra 9th line in the final draft, “Those of you, lost and yearning to be free,” (Alvarez, 10), alongside “Who hear these words, take heart from me” (Alvarez, 11).” These lines replace the draft line, “My flood comes through in so many drafts,” (Alvarez, 9), and to me, these change quite a bit. In her draft. At the start, Judy Alvarez appears to be talking about how closely she is attuned with words, how words on paper make her feel more at home than anywhere else, an extension of her almost. However, the second stanza (The stanza is only apparent in the draft, it seems to be fully connected in the final, but the line is still the same) mentions how she’s confused, and confused on how she’s living her life through this paper. It seems to me, that in her final draft, she’s more so reaching out to the reader, mentioning how ‘those of you, lost and yearning,’ most likely individuals who feel comfortable on paper rather than in real life, yet lost. Once more, it’s seemingly like Alvarez decides to connect more in the finalized sonnet compared to her finalized draft, yet continues, stating (in both) that ‘but briefly, essentially, here I am’ (Alvarez, 8). It’s interesting to note here, though, that in the finalized section she includes three dots, indicating that she’s still in thought. Perhaps, in the finalized version she’s questioning herself, and if she’s still confused or not?

Overall, it seems that the general Sonnets don’t seem to deviate quite a lot from draft to final, but the main thing noticeable is the ending, the final stanza, where Alvarez seemingly attempts to reach out and find some sort of connection with anyone reading. Alvarez believes herself to be more at home on paper, in poetry, and in writing than in person, yet in the end, she seems to try and find others the same as her. However, she mentions in the last line, ‘woman’, rather than myself. Considering how Alvarez was one of the extremely rare female poets, it seems that the finalized draft correlates to that fact. She feels isolated as a result, being the only one, and reaches out to find a connection to anyone similar to her, another woman in the same profession or wonder/feeling. That’s the general alteration I believe to have changed.

– Edmund F. 

The Sensual Form

The meaning of Julia Alvarez’s “Sometimes the Words Are So Close” is enhanced from the drafts by showing the “many drafts” to reflect the speaker finding themselves through many trial-and-errors. This is a petrarchan sonnet, because the rhyming scheme follows that of the petrarchan rules but also the volta that occurs on line 9, “Why do I get confused living it through?” (Alvarez 9). The audience partakes in this confusion as they read through the enjambment from lines 1-8 because of its lack of punctuations, in which shifts with the rhetorical question. The speaker also mentions they are more who they are when “down on paper” (2). The drafts Alvarez made become an artform reflecting the creation of the poem, the audience can see the authentic struggle of an individual trying to seek the right words that reflects their emotions. Alvarez writes many scribbles, crosses, and self-critical comments like “pretentious” that echoes the running sentence – a running thought of a speaker whose anxieties find relief in writing.

The speaker also speaks to the audience, “I once was in many drafts as you” (12). The audience is referred to as a rough sketch of a poem where each individual is refining and editing what gives them meaning, what they want, and who they are. The speaker acknowledges this too, but the sonnet takes a form of its own by the speaker by giving it a gender; “who touches this poem touches a woman” (14). And that is seen through the edits made in the drafts, a sensual experience of a female speaker who defines themselves through the poem’s form. The edits as well enhance that meaning as she tries to find the right words that reflect the meaning of her poem. It is with certainty, especially throughout the rough drafts, that the poem’s form is a woman’s as Alveraz ensured the poem ends in this manner. Her utilization of the sonnet form could be to reflect the female speaker defining herself against the patriarchal control of the sonnet, in which she encourages her audience whose words are “close” to the audience to define themselves as well. Nonetheless, it is through the drafts that reflects a human process of understanding one’s identity and establishing it despite the odds.

Phillip Gallo