Nothing

Looking through the glass 

the rain pouring so slowly

 Drowning in sorrow 

…

Is tomorrow gone?

no stars no dreams nothing seen

now where do I go?

Dear friend, 

I wanted to take on a haiku and the poem I chose to imitate was from you in the Anthology of Wartime Haiku, into to poetry it goes, 

“From the window of despair 

May sky

there is always tomorrow 

…

At daybreak 

stars disappear

where do I discard my dreams?” 

Pg100-101. I wanted to encapture almost like a similar style of words for example tomorrow, stars, dreams. I wanted to get the connection between poems by presenting these words in similar tones. I know you were in a really bad place where you wished everything was over and that you could finally go home. I chose to encompass those feelings you might have felt. By choosing my first line to be “looking through the glass” almost like a reflection in your poem of its first line being “From the window of despair”. I wanted to bring forth the imagery of the poem and have a new modern audience see through the window that it is pouring rain outside as maybe you were inside writing your poem. I wanted people to see the true sorrows you may have been through being in an internment camp and the pain it caused you to try and live on. Even though you had said it was a May sky meaning it was in May at the end of Spring and beginning of Summer I wanted to bring a counterpart of myself into it. How whenever I am going through a tough time it is usually when it’s raining. The rain just symbolizes for me the dreadfulness and freedom to cry, with my cries being muffled by the rain. I hope this is alright for you and you don’t see it drift much apart from your poem. In my second stanza just like you had written “Where do I discard my dreams?” I wrote “Now where do I go?”, I wanted to say that you were the dreams and now were deciding what to do. 

I wanted to show the power of alliteration I know as a fellow friend you would love from your writing skill level. I chose to input this to symbolize the word no and nothing in stanza 2 line 2. With alliteration I could help display your work on one line instead of multiple. This helps in bringing rhythm and the importance that there is nothing surrounding this poem. There is an abyss of nothing, and it is the speaker’s choice to see where maybe they can go.

I know you like free-style haiku and from the last lines from the stanzas you would end that would be 7 syllables instead of 5 in retrospect, a traditional haiku ending and starting with 5 syllable lines and in the middle being 7 syllables. I tried to form a nice sounding rhythm to your poem to intrigue an audience to go on a poetic rhythm as they continue reading on. I wanted to fight your notion and capture the traditional haiku to show you that it also could work with your poem and what you are trying to say about being boxed in and not being able to live your life freely. From being on one side of the window and watching the world pass by as you sit and write poetry to show what had happened during World War 2. 

My dear friend people are drifting apart from history so I wanted to make this poem to pay homage to your poem. It deserves to be read and analyzed by poets throughout. I thank you for writing something so deep and emotionally beautiful. That is why I made this to show people today the dreams that were crushed, the pain and abuse you had gone through, and most importantly the historical aspect of when you wrote this. Today, there is something similar as to when you were in the camps. It is a war. A war on Gaza and the Palestine people. How they now have to leave their homes just like you did or they would face death. Even today they are still facing it and don’t know whether they can get it tomorrow. My dear friend this is why I wrote this homage poem, to have these people who are oppressed know they are not alone and that we the people see them. Like how we saw you guys we will not remain silent. 

          With deep love and understanding your friend,

    Kelly Flores

Look Around Sonora County

Driving through white snow,

As snowflakes flew gracefully,

Through the coast redwoods.

…

Summer heat has died,

Black, eight-legged Critters emerge,

As Autumn awakes.

…

Sunset Fully Sets,

As night creeps in, an owl hoots,

Calling predators.

…

Rich with history,

A California Ghost Town,

In grassy foothills.

…

Beyond the small towns,

There is a whole new world,

Of nature’s wonders.

Review: Instead of creating one haiku, I created an anthology based on observations and real-life experiences I had exploring Sonora County. These selected pieces were inspired by the multiple haikus Japanese Americans wrote during their stay at the Japanese internment camps. They mostly utilized poetic elements like imagery and nature to describe their personal situations and observations. I followed an identical approach to write my haikus.

Unlike, their haikus though, in which the majority were free verse in English, I decided to follow the traditional format which is 5 syllables for the first and last line and 7 syllables for the middle because I thought it was simpler. Though experiences are different between the poets and me, the use of imagery, setting, and nature is highly implemented on both sides. For example “white snow” (Poem 1, line 1), “Snowflakes flew”(Poem 1, line 2), “Summer heat” (Poem 2, line 1), “autumn”(Poem 2,3), “sunset fully sets” (Poem 3, Line 1), “Nights creeps in” (Poem 3, Line, “Small towns” (Poem 5, line 1), “grassy foothills” (Poem 4, line 3). Similar descriptions and details were given to describe seasons, weather, and surroundings in the Anthology of Wartime Haiku. Like in Kyotaro Komur’s “Lingering summer heat, Japanese proceeding under guard, on dusty white road.” (Komur, Pg 109) and Shiho Okamoto’s “Iron Fence immovable, over the mountain, winter sunrise.” (Okamoto, Pg 112). What makes my anthology connect with the Anthology of Wartime Haikus is both take place in the state of California. Also, the places I described are historical landmarks, meaning just like the Japanese internment camps, these “small towns” hold their own history. For example, “Rich with history, A California Ghost Town, In grassy foothills.” (poem 4) Up in Sonora there are various towns like Columbia, Twain Harte, Mariposa, Jamestown, etc. One of these towns is the Chinese Camp which is practically a ghost town. What’s its history? According to the California Office of Historic Preservation, the Chinese camp was the headquarters for stage lines in the early 1850s and for various CA Chinese mining companies. This was during the gold rush. This is why I added, “Rich with history” to hint at the gold rush. The other small towns were part of the gold rush too. It was a small input but, it holds great significance to California’s history, just like the Japanese internment camps.

Japanese American poets described major features that highlighted back towards Japanese internment camps like Yotenchi Agari’s haiku, “Moonlit summer sky/ same black houses/ standing in rows,” (Agari, Pg 111). I was going to familiar structure for my haikus. Like Agari, I highlighted significant features my main idea was known for like, “Driving through white snow, As snowflakes flew gracefully, Through the coast redwoods.”  (Poem 1). During the winter season, it is likely to snow up in Sonora. One of the most significant attributes of Sonora is the coast redwood trees. Readers may not pick up that I’m talking about specifically Sonora because snow and coast redwoods aren’t just located in that area, however from relying on vivid imagery I am attempting to create an image in their head of what I saw when I was there.

 This is the same with American Japanese poets, they created a visual of their experience, even if the readers had little knowledge about the internment camps, with the use of imagery, readers managed to see and imagine what these poets lived through at the time. I wanted to recreate that feeling for my readers. I could have been more direct in naming the small towns, but I also wanted my readers to build their own visual picture of what I was referring to. I believed that if I mentioned names like “Mariposa” or “Twain Harte”, most readers would easily get the idea and automatically imagine the exact town, pushing away the visual context I provided in my poem. In other words, I wanted head gears to turn. I wanted my readers to think, not just to quickly come up with the answers like “Oh it’s Twain Harte”. I was seeking to write something simple but not too straightforward. Something similar to Yotenchi Agari’s second haiku on page 111. The poem was centered on the Stockton Assembly Center, however Agari didn’t mention the name directly in the poem but indicated it with imagery. I was inspired to follow a similar poem structure because I wanted to ensure readers saw what my haikus described, but also not make it too obvious.

Aside from the first haiku what about the rest? “Summer heat has died, Black, eight-legged Critters emerge, As Autumn awakes.” (Poem 2). This haiku was quite specific in the aspect that I mentioned seasons and black, eight-legged critters. The reason why I added “eight-legged”, was because in Mariposa there is a time when spiders appear, instead of saying spiders though I wanted my readers to envision what I meant and what specific creature I was talking about. I am not talking about just any spider; I was referring to a black tarantula. Why a tarantula? Driving to Mariposa I came across tarantulas crawling on the floor and across the streets and I thought it was one of the most memorable moments I had traveling to Sonora because I had never seen it before. Down here in Merced, it’s unlikely you see a spider casually cross the road, especially a black tarantula. So not only did I rely on identical literary techniques that Japanese-American poets used to describe their situations in the Japanese internment camps, but I also included distinctive moments I had. Though they were quite the opposite compared to the experiences internees had during their stay at internment camps, the haikus were based on experiences that were considered one of the most striking or persistent in one’s mind whether it was good or bad.

What about the use of season and time? With the seasons mentioned, readers get the idea that I have visited Sonora multiple times throughout the year, whether it was winter, summer, or autumn. I purposefully made that clear because I believe if I didn’t my haikus would be incomplete because the reason I went to Sonora was due to the time of season. I also included how I observed beyond the little towns in my 3^rd and 5^th poems.

 I added, “Sunset Fully Sets, As night creeps in, an owl hoots, Calling predators.” (Poem 3). During the night, in Sonora, it’s likely predators like wolves and coyotes show up. What’s interesting is they start to appear right when the sun begins to set, it happens fast. This was something that I observed. I wasn’t specific with what type of predators; however, this allows readers to come up with their own guesses and work their imagination. The fifth poem was quite broad in the aspect that when I said “small towns” it can be taken to context that it can be any small town. However, putting my title as “Look around Sonora County” gives an indication that it’s a town in Sonora. I didn’t want my readers to overthink my poems either, so that’s why I made sure to make my title specific. This is what I noticed the internees did, even when their haikus had no titles, they relied on imagery to stay specific on their main idea.  

Overall, my main focus was to have readers make up a realistic image through their minds by only depending on the imagery and multiple adjectives I provided. I created my anthology relying on the poetic elements Japanese American haiku poets used in their collection of poems. I also included historical context and explained how my observations not only were important to me but also how these observations held a great significance and impact on California’s history itself, just like the Japanese Internment camps did to these Japanese American Haiku poets.

Claudia Dominguez

Citations: Parks, California State. “California State Parks.” CA State Parks, ohp.parks.ca.gov/ListedResources/Detail/423#:~:text=Reportedly%20founded%20about%201849%20by,several%20California%20Chinese%20mining%20companies. Accessed 2 May 2024. 

Looking at a Coyote… An Eagle Stares

An Eagle Stares is a short imitation poem that pays homage to Javier Zamora’s poem “Looking at a Coyote”. Zamora’s original poem focused on the aspects of the harsh and unforgiving journey that is crossing the border to the United States. Paying special attention to the “Coyotes”. Guides that help immigrants, leading them through the path that takes them across. While also talking about the harsh reality of the treatment immigrants receive from the journey, the coyotes, and the gringos. These themes were then altered and modified for my imitation poem. Focusing instead on the modern day-to-day routine of a Chicano, noting the discrimination, injustice, and contrast one faces compared to the average American.  

The original poem’s most iconic aspect is its format. Outside of its free verse form, the poem has a very distinct look to the way the lines are placed and organized. With each line alternating from the left to the right side of the page, one in front of the other. This stylistic choice alongside the poem’s main theme, serves to emphasize the idea of the migration journey and the constant walking in the Mexican desert as the poem’s lines mimic footsteps. In order to create an accurate and more importantly, faithful imitation, both the imagery and what it’s meant to represent remain parallel within An Eagle Stares. It instead represents the journey of a Chicano teenager as he walks to school, noting the daily occurrences to happen near or to him. The lines within the poem are also modified to fit within the new context, however the main themes are kept within them. For example within Zamora’s poem the following line exists: “ gringos why do you see us illegal don’t you think / we are the workers around you” (13-14) showcasing the disdain that white Americans hold for Mexicans and other minorities, failing to see the fact that the hard work of immigrants is a crucial part of the economy, and despite their efforts, are still exploited and undervalued. This line changed to fit the context of my poem reads: “ Officer why do you eye me down as I pass by your window are you / appreciating the brown hue we share” (13-14). I wanted to comment on the internal racism that many Mexican immigrants are prone to, and how this behavior and treatment of their own culture leads to Chicanos sharing the same thought process, leading to Hispanics often discriminating against other Hispanics, overall damaging the culture and making us more prone to injustice to those in higher positions of power. Another aspect within his work, Zamora emphasizes the coyote’s Nike shoes. Noting the economic disparity between the coyote and those crossing. I believed those two stanzas to hold significant value within the poem, so I wished to incorporate that same idea within my work, choosing instead to note the principal’s son’s “rubber and steel” shoes, serving as a metaphor for the wheels that his car sits on, noting that the son of a principal would likely be financially well off and as such, be able to afford the luxuries of having his own vehicle. However, the next line shows that the “Farmer’s son” also has rubber and steel shoes, however this is used literally, to describe the work boots he has. Showcasing the financial disparity between the two students, while also alluding to the economic difference between the two ethnic groups. I also wished to further emphasize the subtle Mexican patriotism that lies within the creation of Looking at a Coyote, choosing to incorporate a recurring metaphor within the poem through a golden eagle. Known for being Mexico’s national bird, I chose it to represent Chicano youth, their ongoing struggles, and their search for growth in their new home. 

Overall I loved reading Javier Zamora’s work along with being able to reinterpret his poem with my own imitation. Creating a connection between the treacherous journey that many Mexican immigrants face and the day-to-day struggles that Chicano’s face within the United States, as both face different struggles, but ultimately chase the same goal; a better, more prosperous future.

– Eduardo Ojeda Jr

I Sing the Soul Electric

O my soul! I dare not desert the likes of you in the vanities of life, nor abandon the parts of you for it. I believe the likes of you are to shine and illuminate with the likes of the body, (For the body is nothing without the soul,)

I believe the likes of you are to shine and illuminate with my poem, for you are my poem

Man’s, woman’s, child’s, youth’s, wife’s, husband’s, mother’s, father’s, sister’s, brother’s, young man’s, young woman’s poems.

Love, compassion, courage, wisdom, gratitude, hope, empathy, creativity, forgiveness, connection, joy, peace, kindness, generosity, serenity, integrity, 

authenticity, resilience, humility, patience, understanding, harmony, trust, acceptance, faith, contentment, honesty, vulnerability, perseverance, optimism, 

devotion, graciousness, altruism, empowerment, tranquility, reflection, belonging, liberation, curiosity, insight, beauty, grace, encouragement, service, 

Inspiration, wonder, diligence, flexibility, awareness, imagination, respect, determination, trustworthiness, nurturing,

The tenderness that shines from your eyes, the selflessness in your heart, the joy shone through your smile, the passion when you speak, the resilience of your spirit, the serenity of your presence, the freeness of your laughter. 

The way you smile at a laughing child and ache at a crying one, the way laughter rings with happiness and your tears flow with empathy, the way you smile at every stranger that passes by even if they don’t smile back, 

The way your heart rejoices at your sisters accomplishments and mourns at her failures, the way you treasure every moment with your loved ones because you never know when it’ll be your last,

O I say these are the parts of the soul that can only be shone with the help of the body, not as two separate entities but as one!

O I say these are what makes the body and the soul!

As soon as I got this assignment my brain immediately went to the poem I Sing the Body Electric by Walt Whitman. I have no clue but it was the only poem that I could picture myself doing; it was going to be a homage to him, a positive one. Even though our poems are saying different things I am not disagreeing with his poem or dissing him, I am simply showing another way that the poem could be. I see my poem and his as siblings almost; so similar yet so different. I knew that I wanted them to have the same aesthetic, I wanted my poem to be a free verse just as his was; I wanted it to have the same if no similar poetic elements, I wanted it to have the commas that Whitman’s did and the prentices too. I wanted it to be almost like an upside down asymmetrical verse of Whitman’s. I wanted them to be alternate universes. I wanted the forms to be the same as well and I just loved the way Whitman formatted the poem. Also like Whitman’s poem I wanted this to have no gender so that this poem could be about anyone. A difference from Whitman though was my use of the soul; instead of saying that the parts of the body and what makes a soul I made the argument that the soul is what makes the body, that the body is the thing that accentuates the soul. I wanted to make the argument that the soul and body are one, one entity not two separate ones; that the soul shines through the body and illuminates the soul. Whitman’s poem was all about how the makeup of the human body is in fact not only parts of our bodies, but it is also the makeup of the soul. My poem is all about how the makeup of the soul, all the things I described in the poem, are in fact the makeup of the body since the body is the vessel that the soul is in and is the only way for other humans to see one another’s souls, through our bodies. That is why I say that our poems are brother and sister, alternate universes, the same yet not the same. Our poems are intertwined with one another because we are both describing what a human body is, and essentially what a human is; a body and a soul intertwined; just like our poems.

Paris Baker

April Rain

Of you I thought when the day rain.
April sun shun,‘til you overcast.
I met you on a similar day, a rain day,
the streets of Edinburgh cold.

When the day rain.

Near you, my prim-rose soul.
Heard ever a crimson primrose
Bloom in rainy autumn? Not me.

When the day rain.

But to you, my bleeding bud blossoms.
Your warm Soul, wild prim-rose;
To life (bring) in all he traverse

When the day rain.

Glen Coe down Scotland’s borders —
Your smile disorders seasons

When the day rain.

A pilgrimage, like a pilgrim I would go,
Singing hymns, at the altar of your soul.
Come… alter, re-alter, mind and body.
Sanctify fidelity of my devoted Being.

When the day rain.

And two hands held for prayer.
Yes, it is! It were! Of Love embody;

Two Souls naked in hallow communion.
He is no other, and none like him,

When the day rain.

Your mouth, lips, the tongue,
Enunciating. You are poetry!
And I waited to hear you say:
“My luve is like a red, red rose.”

When the day rain.

But I, overcasted your thoughts.
Of who I was, left you clouded.

When the day rain.

Let it, echo, throughout my Eden;
When Adam came, and gave me my name.
I will answer back, “Adam. Adam.”

But Adam must have Eve.
I saw, but Paradise no more.

When the day rain.

The rain fall with me —
rose-coloured lens intact.
The sun, shining, over on East.
In California, there is no sun

When the day rain.

Sharing the rain, bunched primroses.
Drops sleeping on petals; first to bloom.
Mine I left stinging, to my lips.
Embrace cold I imagined you gave.
Of what could, would, never have been.

When the day rain.

All my petals gone dull; frost bitten.
Macabre scent emit is, and not mine.
Each brown petal speaks for Adam.

When the day rain. When the day rain.

Of you I thought when the day rain.
The day rained, and I thought of you.
—-

My poem “April Rain” is a parody of Rumi’s “Like This.” I knew I wanted to use Rumi’s poem after reading both his poem and biography. Reading about Rumi and Hafez’s relationship I found to be one of the tragic things of life, to lose someone so closely without a goodbye or knowing what had happened to them — to suddenly disappear. The emotions he evokes in his love poems, primarily through “Like This” I felt entranced by the passionate sensuality he brings to his audience.

The inspiration for my poem came from my time studying abroad in Edinburgh. For the first time I experienced what it was like to fall in love. It was impossible to ever be with them, but it was through being friends with them that I had discovered much about who I am. We met in one of my class discussions; they were framed within the classroom door’s window when I first spotted them, and out of coincidence we had the same class. Furthering this, we became partners for a discussion assignment where the friendship first began. We had traveled around Scotland, and I learned much about him and myself. The last time I had seen him was after our adventure from the Scottish borders. We were in Waverley station where we parted and I watch him disappear in the crowd. There were many aspects in the poem that were an inspiration from that experience, but the speaker of the poem should certainly not be confused with me. They simply helped shape the content of the poem through the emotions.

This poem is the most vulnerable I’ve ever written and shown to the public, but I chose the emotions of this experience into a poem because of its vulnerability. Rumi, like all poets, create incredible poems of emotional experiences because they let themselves be vulnerable; an emotional experience I hope to reflect.

Aspects of my poem that are similar to Rumi’s “Like This” are the free verse form, love in connection with spirituality, the natural experience of love, repetitions, and sensuality. What I had wanted to replicate is that sense of divine love to someone. Though there are many differences to my poem to Rumi’s. The situational content itself being very different to Rumi’s. I wrote the poem as both a parody and a response to “Like This,” by being its opposite. A spiritual love that is romanticized.

I also wanted to have the freedom to use my voice, to try and create my own meaning by borrowing from Rumi’s themes, form, and meaning primarily between the speaker’s relationship with Hafez rather than trying to attempt being Rumi. That is why I paid close attention to syntax. Each word is intentional to make the poem stand for itself but still hold those thematic elements of spiritual love. Punctuation I focused on also as it was lacking in “Like This,” which might be due to translation, so I utilized punctuation to help give an extra element to the poem.

The speaker in Rumi’s “Like This” is confident about that sense of spiritual love, my speaker lacks that confidence and jumps all over. They compare their love to Adam, the “warm Soul,” God, even the nationalistic identity of Scotland. This brings about the borders of love itself – the speaker resides in California, with his love in Scotland. This border also continues with the identity of the speaker, the “prim-rose” being that ambiguity of the speaker’s gender and their identity overall, questioning it but never passing the border to fully understand themselves. The hyphenation of “prim-rose” is both that division, but also what the speaker also desires as they seek to become the traditional symbol of a rose.

This poem also is Europeanized, mainly to reflect the blindness of the speaker themselves as they “fall” to California and furthering that border of their identity: American-Scottish. With the Quran being used in Rumi’s “Like This” I implemented Christian themes both to reflect Scotland and America’s history with Christianity, and the colonial history in which the West brings with religion. Nonetheless, I chose a poem for my medium as I felt it more accurately helped display syntax evoking certain emotions, and as a way for me to experiment with language.

Phillip Gallo

I am the Poppy

When I first read this poem while doing the assignment, I was so impressed that I decided to recreate the emotions of the poem exactly as I felt the poem. And that’s what I recreated ‘The Rose and The Poppy.’ The main point of my poem is Poppy. Therefore, I wrote the poem in the shape of a ‘flower’ resembling Poppy. The order of reading this poem is not fixed; the audience can read it as they want.

In the original poem ‘The Rose and The Poppy’, the poet strongly asserts the poppy’s uniqueness in contrast to the rose. Furthermore, the poet explains the original beauty of the poppy. Hence, I compared the various colors of the Rose to the orange color of the Poppy. And I wrote about the uniqueness of the poppy. Additionally, I recreated every beautiful phrase from the original poem as I understood them while reading. For example, the original poem explains the beauty of the rose using the past and the future timeline. I really like this method, because it means the rose is very common and everyone can remember all the moments with their rose. So, I twist this part and emphasize the symbol of the rose, love.

The lines at the top of the flower petals all represent the differences between the Rose and the Poppy. The part corresponding to the stigma of the flower describes the Poppy itself. The lines at the bottom of the petals all highlight the characteristics of Poppy. Particularly, since the original poem does not mention the narcotic addiction that Poppies are known for, I incorporated this aspect to emphasize Poppy’s free will and identity. A poppy is a flower that someday has to wilt and drop its leaves into the ground. So, when someone sees poppies in the field, one can only see the flower and stem. Inspired by this, I wrote the stem section exactly as in the original poem. Because the entire words in the original poem gave me the feeling of the poppy’s personality and free will. In the stem part, while the original poem mentions ‘scenting rooms,’ I changed it to ‘Nature’ to emphasize the free will of Poppy. Since the Poppy is a part of the flower that I mentioned, it cannot last forever. And the feeling that it will wither someday, ‘Rotting into umber,’ is included to capture the essence of the original poem.

~Jisoo Jang

Seeing is Not Believing

Ezra Pound (1885-1972)

In a Station of the Metro° 1913

The apparition of these faces in the crowd; 

Petals on a wet, black bough.

. . .

Sarah Rix (2003-present)

In a Crowd of No One° 2024

Faceless individuals, they’re watching.

Hot rain falls on my bark, strip the leaves. 

Leaves in a tree of my own.

It is only me.

For this project, an imitation and interpretation of Ezra Pound’s “In a Station of the Metro” was parodied to mirror the social anxieties of adolescents as demonstrated in the Japanese animation “A Silent Voice”. In the original poem, the reader is able to interpret dark and mysterious apparitions (ghost-like, possibly faceless) making up a crowd within a metro station. Describing these apparitions as petals on a wet, black bough. The imagery within this poem is dark and ghostly. Similar to this, in the movie “A Silent Voice” a young teenage boy, Shoya Ishida, is seen battling his anxieties throughout the movie, constantly seeing the faces of other individuals crossed out and metaphorically blocked out by his own mind, but is physically blocked out to the viewer. The faceless individuals represent the anxiety of Shoya taking over and keeping him inside his own bubble. 

In the imitation of Pound’s poem, it is written with an emphasis on social anxiety. It is written to emphasize the effects of anxiety on adolescents and the isolating effect it has from others around them. While the people around them are there, they are only the “leaves” surrounding one in their own little world, symbolized by the tree. They struggle to get out of their bubble and they feel alone, as if they are the only one who feels this way. “Hot rain” represents sweat dropping on the anxious individual as they desire for the people, or “leaves”, surrounding them to get stripped away. The line “it is only me” represents the isolation those with anxiety feel when they are anxious, as if no one understands them. 

Between the two poems, both the original and the parody kept the theme of using nature to describe the setting. In Pound’s poem, petals and boughs are used to symbolize the people, while in the parody, trees, rain, and leaves are used to symbolize the people, the main subject, and their anxiety sweats. The reader is able to quickly visualize the faces described as “petals” and “leaves” in both poems. Additionally, the structures of the poems, while different in length, stay the same. They are both written in free-verse and hold no rhyming scheme or specific meter. Both poems offer a dark and ghostly visual of people in a crowd, leaving the impression that the subject, or speaker, are rejecting the individuals and are almost afraid. 

Sarah Rix

Alvarez’s Rough Draft

Julia Alvarez’s poem “Sometimes the Words are So Close”, lacks any punctuation for the first 6 lines. This creates a wordy, breathlessness for the reader. This creates a hurried tone, like if we don’t read fast the words may disappear off the page. In comparison to her original draft, Alvarez had quite a few commas in the first few lines. The creative choice to include zero punctuation until line 6, added to the title of the poem. The words feel close and almost jumble together when read aloud. This is a Petrachan sonnet, so there is a volta in line 9 which also is where the one question mark is used. Even from the original draft, Alvarez wanted to emphasize line 9 with a question mark. The question mark caused me to immediately stop reading and ponder with the speaker. The tone moved from something so hurried to something thoughtful. Alvarez mentioned how she wanted this poem to feel like a woman speaking and it really embodies what it feels like to ramble on. If Alvarez had included punctuation in the first 6 lines, there would not have been this natural thought pattern. We do not think in commas or periods. We think and move on to the next thought in a continuous pattern. Alvarez’s poem embodies how somebody may fall into a rabbit hole of their thoughts.

By: Tierney Bowden

The Sensual Form

The meaning of Julia Alvarez’s “Sometimes the Words Are So Close” is enhanced from the drafts by showing the “many drafts” to reflect the speaker finding themselves through many trial-and-errors. This is a petrarchan sonnet, because the rhyming scheme follows that of the petrarchan rules but also the volta that occurs on line 9, “Why do I get confused living it through?” (Alvarez 9). The audience partakes in this confusion as they read through the enjambment from lines 1-8 because of its lack of punctuations, in which shifts with the rhetorical question. The speaker also mentions they are more who they are when “down on paper” (2). The drafts Alvarez made become an artform reflecting the creation of the poem, the audience can see the authentic struggle of an individual trying to seek the right words that reflects their emotions. Alvarez writes many scribbles, crosses, and self-critical comments like “pretentious” that echoes the running sentence – a running thought of a speaker whose anxieties find relief in writing.

The speaker also speaks to the audience, “I once was in many drafts as you” (12). The audience is referred to as a rough sketch of a poem where each individual is refining and editing what gives them meaning, what they want, and who they are. The speaker acknowledges this too, but the sonnet takes a form of its own by the speaker by giving it a gender; “who touches this poem touches a woman” (14). And that is seen through the edits made in the drafts, a sensual experience of a female speaker who defines themselves through the poem’s form. The edits as well enhance that meaning as she tries to find the right words that reflect the meaning of her poem. It is with certainty, especially throughout the rough drafts, that the poem’s form is a woman’s as Alveraz ensured the poem ends in this manner. Her utilization of the sonnet form could be to reflect the female speaker defining herself against the patriarchal control of the sonnet, in which she encourages her audience whose words are “close” to the audience to define themselves as well. Nonetheless, it is through the drafts that reflects a human process of understanding one’s identity and establishing it despite the odds.

Phillip Gallo

Who Am I Without My Words

The earlier drafts of the poem “Sometimes the Words Are So Close” by Julia Alverez enhance the final draft of the poem; the edits accentuate the entire poem due to the clear dedication that is shown. From the very title of this poem to the last period, it is about words being at the tip of your tongue, the words being so close yet so far. There is a clear struggle to find the right words in her drafts. It is obvious that she put a lot of thought into what was said in the poem; she was her own biggest critic, always second guessing if the words that she put down conveys the message that she wanted it to. This only enhances the meaning of the poem, the complexity of living the way she writes, she writes to where it is so simple that a child could understand it yet becoming the person she writes about is the hardest thing for her. It is also notable that the first line of the poem is always the same, like she was so sure that this was something that she without a doubt wanted to say; the first lines always say “Sometimes the words are so close I am more who I am when I’m down on paper than anywhere else as if my life were practicing for the real me,” the way that throughout all of her drafts, the first line was the thing that always survived and way never altered just shows that those lines were essential to the conveying of the message of the poem, which is that she is more herself on paper then she is in person no matter how much she yearns to be the person she writes about. Another line that stuck out to me was “Those of you lost and yearning to be free, who hear these words, take heart from me. I once was in as many drafts as you.” This stuck out to me because it also accentuates the message, just in a different way, she was lost and yearning to be free and the only way she, the speaker, could do that was by writing it down; so she is now saying take heart for i was once like you, struggling to find the right words to say and the right person to be. 

-Paris Baker